THE LAMEST POSTS OUT THERE Vol.2.
“Ask me anything” = Nobody talks to me and I would like to talk about myself even though I’m boring af. I just need some attention. Give me some, ask me something…I’d like to feel important.
“Happy birthday/Valentine’s Day/Mother’s Day/National Rotary Hoe Day” on my own newsfeed/story or someone else’s but PUBLIC= I don’t actually care about what day it is…and even if it’s not about me, I make it about me and post it on my timeline or in my story, so people can see how many things are happening to me and how nice I am for posting this about someone else but this is all about me. Like everything I do/think/say/share. I just need some more attention because I’m a narcissist and all I can live on are others’ likes and attention.
Poll = My life is boring and I have nothing to say, so I’m asking you to create content for me. By the way, I’m so thirsty for a little attention.
Horoscope/other astro-eso-shit/it’s so Cancer/Scorpio of me etc.…= I’m trying to explain my unacceptable/shitty behaviour by being born when the planets were at a certain position in the space. No, I’m not crazy…I totally believe it has something to do with my personality. In reality, I just want a little more attention.
Idiotic tourist photos = Look how I’m holding the sun in my hands or how I’m supporting the Tower of Pisa…OMG, I’m so funny and original… I can’t even decide which one I am more. Also here, can I get a little more attention, please? I need to feed the narcissist in me.
“Good morning” posts = In case you haven’t noticed it’s morning…lol, you’ve probably done, you. You’re going to work…unlike me. I’m just here seeking a little more of your attention
To-do list post = If I actually had things to do, I wouldn’t write this post but I have no better idea to get some more attention. My life is a complete wreck.
Use any natural disaster/terrorist attack/armed conflict/somebody’s death to get likes = I have no filter on, complete lack of traces of civilization…I will pretend to be sad/shocked/stunned by the events just to get some more likes or attention. Because even someone else’s death is about me…did you know that? I’m special…sensitive…I just need some attention bruhuhu.
Ass photo/Belfie — I need to create some content but I have no thoughts and literally nothing to say, so here’s my ass.
Cooking = Oh, I can cook and I love eating. That makes me special because others don’t do that. By the way, I can also breathe, take a piss/shit and even just exist. I’m fantastic…give me some attention cos I deserve it.
Pet photos =my dog/cat/hamster etc is the only lovable thing about me
Pregnancy photos = I missed sex education class or I don’t know…no one asked but I want your attention. In a few months you can expect tons of photos of my child. It’s gonna be my only achievement anyway.
Studio photos/ “Modelling”= as if I was a model while there’s no universe where I could ever make it to the runway or at least the fashion magazine of an elderly care home. But I’m a model, I deserve 15 minutes of fame and I WANT YOUR ATTENTION!!!
Airplane window/clouds = People must know I’m traveling otherwise they think I have no life. Also, I want to let you know I love traveling…unlike the other 8 billion people on this planet. I’m special…I’ve been to places, though I couldn’t tell the difference between countries, cultures, languages (I speak none) but I’m so enlightened and deep. I’ve read ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, so I’m one special person for sure. Drop me some of your likes and attention.
Reading photos = but not actual literature…LOL I don’t even understand those. And there are no pictures in them! Either a self-help book written by some of the sociopathic trainers/coaches or Vague/GQ/Times. People know I don’t read Times, though. I’m an English mother tongue but I don’t speak English.
Photo of medicine, thermometer, tea, snotty/clean tissues = I’m sick but I don’t forget to ask for your attention. No fever or disease could stop me from begging for some likes and sympathy.
Sleeping/running/walking time record = I have nothing to share but I’m also very much afraid that people would think I have no life. So, here’s a little nothing I share with you let’s exchange it for some likes or attention. I’m just so lame and bored.
“Been to Hairdresser’s/Beautician’s” = Nobody asked, nobody cares but I share this with you because I need some likes to boost my ego and see that I didn’t make a bad decision when I chose this haircolor or style.
“Taking a few days off from social media” = Never ever forget to post on social media that you’re leaving social media. How would people know? Even if they don’t care, and my point is getting off of social media, I want to get some likes and attention from leaving it too.